good luck dave your not going to get one...
Instead your going to get the one you always wanted.. the weak the given up, the giving in, just shut up replay...
Yeah ok. I'm guilty of putting my life out there.. BUT AS I SAID My life is a open book.. I have nothing to hide... People hate and judge in the world its bound to happen yes.. But when they make It almost a ongoing job it truly shows who has no life , and total.. u bash me for knowing better then to put my life out there.. I'm not saying relate. but i am saying, take a big look at shit. and think.. Is what your doing on top of everything else Seriously worth it... NO ITS NOT!...
as far as unsure who the father is.. OMFG... I had one blank mind moment going back and figuring between the ONLY 2 guys Ive been with besides the guy WHO TOOK MY VIRGINITY(my ex hubby)..
Its my fault yes.
Its my fault for thinking 3 weeks back and first thing that came to mind was about the time of ben's house party... YEAH I FALSELY ACCUSED DON ... NEVER KNOWING HE WAS UN STERILE I WAS NEVER TOLD... we got past this... after i explained where i was coming from.
we got past that.. I then contacted SULLI..... WHO is THE FATHER AND KNOWS WITHOUT A DOUBT HE IS... Infact... Why we are fighting is because he knows he messed up.. and right now may not be the best time for him to take responsibility so he wants the quick option out. WHICH IS FOR ME TO GET A ABORTION.... I have my own issues there.. on top of .. I seriously think the doctor is fucking nuts telling me i'm pregnant.. like i said to the email i wrote..
3 weeks.. now about 4... Doctor gave me date of around january 25th-29th ANYONE CARE TO TELL ME WHEN THE PARTY WAS??? WHEN SULLI TOOK ME HOME... AND STUFF HAPPENED?.. HELLO THATS JANUARY 27th...
SO PLEAZE SHUT UP ON THAT... it seems to me. I already Know my answers there. Hence jess knows My issues as well as sulli's And the bigger issues, SO HENCE WHY SHE SAID LEAVE ME ALONE..
I frankly don't care weather You like me or not... THATS YOUR CHOICE>..
I do however have issues with people Judging and trying to tell me how my life is.. Without having a fucking clue... who i am, how i am... OR what i go through... ITS PURE STUPIDITY to yes i try to shed the light. so u can see that...
BUT ITS THE INTERNET YOU SAY... hello look around.. the internet is the mass way of communication now a days. It doesn't matter if you READ(red) IT..., HEARD IT ON THE PHONE OR IN PERSON, fact is. you were told... I heard one thing someone said.. and yeah its about right.. DO ONTO OTHERS AS YOU WANT DONE TO YOU.... ..
I never lied about my cancer. infact i've kept it my darkest secret for a long time.. Even from my own mom... Untill she came across medical documents i left out. I go to vandy for It... and my son does as well... ..
If you don't want people in your life criticizing you then why post it...
(I POSTED A SEMI PRIVATE SKIPPING DETAILS HALF WAY.. POST which is a VENTING POST) Called dear life...... because that is My long awaited get it off my chest DEAR LIFE LETTER.... IF YOU DON"T LIKE IT... WHY WORRY ABOUT IT... I LIVE the shit not you.... If you want to sympathize then do if not.. KEEP THE SHIT TO YOURSELF... i don't need it... (ya know ever hear of the phrase Not everything you think has to come out of your mouth)
I don't lie about shit... I never have been one to lie and MANY OF PEOPLE can state that Out of anything,, lying is not my thing never have never will unless its over a present .. YOU CAN ASK MANY PEOPLE... to one of them.. THEY WILL SAY NO SHE DON'T LIE... but they can say DAMN IT THE FUCK.. that girl IS WAY TOO HONEST sometimes its brutal and toooooo much truth With way too much detail..
as far as a attention whore i find this funny...
I may get alot of attention, BUT I DON'T LIKE ATTENTION BEING GIVEN TO ME...b I will bitch someone out for even looking at me and smiling..
because its unneeded attention to me.
I honestly thing the attention whores are the people who instigate In order to get a response, which draws the attention to them..
Which i can list a bunch of name son here that fit that description...
natural reaction is someone talks shit about you, your going to correct them then put them in there place. it doesn't matter if its read to you or said. it was stated.
as far as healthy....
WHO THE FUCK EVER SAID I WAS HEALTHY....
maybe a Light and healthy eater.. and routine exercise but... other then that yeah.. I have to battle with anemia, A severely low immune system.... not to mention more... Im in a healthier state because i have already had a bone marrow transplant. and I didn't like the fact that i spent not this recent christmas but the christmas before IN THE HOSPITAL for 5 weeks. BECAUSE OF MY FUCKING CANCER....
I didn't ask for it to be genetic.. I didn't ask to hear that i had it at all... .. IT HAPPENS.. NOT EVERYONE LIKES TO HEAR BAD NEWS, i SURELY DON'T... SO IN MY RESPECT I ASKED FOR A BASIC STRONG TREATMENT Other then chemo.. that will allow me, to maintain as if i never knew... THATS MY CHOICE.
SO yes im on lots of meds. which counter acts to alot. hence why my new antidepressants fucked me up on the 27th at the roxbury.. I hadn't drunk any alcohol. yet and i was already sicker then a dog..
I constantly hear. NOONE CARES ENOUGH TO GET TO KNOW YOU.... I find this funny.. That There is actually people on this site. That says I need to just forget about you guys, and they try to get to know me.. Not only on here, but at parties, Invites to parties,On the phone, myspace, and more.
Thats also funny to me. that my sister watched me take all the numbers out of my cellphone that i call on a regular basis and i put them on a notebook list and put it by my calendar .. i had 115 numbers... She's like what are u doing writting down your whole contact list. i handed her my cellphone to verify.. i said no.. this is just who i talk to on a regular basis.. and Notice None of the family or business's are in that list.. we sat down and counted my cellphone's contact list.. MIND YOU ITS SHUT OFF BUT PEOPLE STILL GIVE ME THEIR NUMBER AND TAKE MY OTHER CONTACT NUMBER... 1 silver cellphone contains. 741 Contacts... all of which i can call anytime and say hey, and they'd know exactly who i was, and what i look like , and where i live. .. Popularity means nothing to me... people like me thats evident..... I wouldn't have half the benefits i have and not talking sexual since that shit is just wrong.. . but i have them because people are just willing to know me..
Im a HI.. How you doing kinda girl..... OMFG .. I over socialize...
wtf... Because I say fucking hi to everyone.
Some shy girl once told me... She only talks to people she knows. but yet she wants more friends...
BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE.... so how do you get to know someone.. You say hi. see whats going on and engage into conversation...
But yet its odd. when i do that.. Im wrong.. Im the bad creepy person...
IM SORRY DID I MISS SOMETHING HERE?
So im different, I don't do things the way you do them, i talk different, my personality is a confusion but its unique... . BUT hello thats fucking me... You can accept it.. or you can Just move the fuck along and not worry about me.. I don't care... .. and u honestly think by telling me i make no sense its going to help...
I live with myself everyday, and wonder, what makes me say that, why am i saying this now... Why am i doing this...
I DON"T MAKE SENSE TO MYSELF SOMETIMES... , IM NOT PERFECT.. what the fuck is perfect.. why expect something more then what it can give and that limit is known?
Instead of trying to make me make sense to you.... in your perfect world..
try to make sense of yourself...
You give advice, and expect me to take it...havee you looked at your advice...
Its stupid. I was tought to stand up for myself.. and Your trying to tell me to Just give up.. Give in..
SORRY .. but NO I'm not..
